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"Life's a journey, travel light." (Hugo Boss jeans TV commercial) "Life is a journey, enjoy the ride." (Nissan TV commercial) "Life is a journey, kill the Jews." During World War II the Nazis traveled light in their Hugo Boss uniforms, while the Japanese military enjoyed the ride in their Nissans. Oh, sure, you say, just a curious coincidence of two vital components of the axis war effort utilizing the same cliché in their TV commercials. Well, put this in your rumor mill and grind it: "Life is a journey" is a secret phrase used by the underground militia movement, which is heavily financed by Nissan and Hugo Boss (who hope to revive nationalism in Japan and Germany, overthrow the U.S. government, and eventually achieve worldwide hegemony through the use of manipulative advertising). When they hear "Life's a journey, travel light," the militia crazies know that it's code for being ready to travel at a moment's notice. And when they hear "Life is a journey, enjoy the ride," it's a signal that everything is going smoothly, and the worldwide takeover is imminent. I could add some details, like how the nuts at Ruby Ridge were wearing Hugo Boss jeans and driving Nissan trucks, but it would be overkill. Suffice to say that a rumor in a bottle, albeit totally unsubstantiated, has been tossed into the infinite waters of the Internet where it will float freely until it comes to rest—on the front page of The New York Times, perhaps. Don't forget: If this rumor sparks a worldwide right-wing takeover, you heard it here first.  |