EXT. COLLEGE RUNNING TRACK - WIDE - MADDEN
rides on a golf cart while the rest of "America's Team" jogs behind him on the oval track at Princeton.
MED. SHOT
reveals that they are all listening to Walkman cassette players.
 BUBBA
 (in German) |
Can you help me get to the university? |
(long pause)|
Can you help me get to the university? |
THE FRIDGE
(in German)|
Can you help me get to the university? |
They run for a few more beats in silence.
BUBBA
(in German)
|
Can you help me get to the university? |
THE FRIDGE
(in German)|
Can you help me get to the university? |
THE BOZ
(in German)
|
Can you help me get to the university? |
CSONKA
(in German)
|
Can you help me get to the university? |
BUTKUS
(in German)
|
Can you help me get to the university? |
(beat)|
Can you help me get to the university? Can you help me get to the university? Can you help me get to the university? |
ALL
(in German)
|
Can you help me get to the university? Can you help me get to the university? Can you help me get to the university? Can you help me get to the university? |
INT. COLLEGE DINING HALL - THE TEAM
is eating breakfast, faster than the COLLEGE KIDS can serve it. Mellinger enters.
MELLINGER |
Good morning, gentlemen. How did you sleep? |
MADDEN
THE BOZ|
Me too. My head was spinning. I was up all night. |
MELLINGER|
Something troubling you, Mr. Bosworth? |
THE BOZ|
Well, yeah. How can we go back in time and not do something terrible, something horrible that'll change all of human history as we now know it? |
MELLINGER|
A good point -- and I share your fears, Mr. Bosworth. The only answer I can give you is that we have to be very, very careful. The mission must go like clockwork. We must act with precision, and with the greatest caution. |
THE FRIDGE
Both Csonka and Butkus lean in to grab the syrup, bumping heads. Mellinger reacts, then Sashimi enters, lugging a bunch of loose-leaf notebooks.
SASHIMI|
These are the playbooks, men. |
He starts passing them out.
SASHIMI
(continuing)
|
More important than the physical conditioning, more important than the German lessons, more important than anything else you do here in the next few days is this playbook. Read it. Study it. Learn it. Memorize it. And -- don't get any sticky stuff on it! |
MADDEN|
You heard him, men. Anybody gets sticky stuff on his playbook gets fined. |
He picks up his playbook, getting sticky stuff all over it, as we
INT. LECTURE HALL - A LITTLE LATER - THE TEAM
is listening as Mellinger introduces an extremely elderly PROFESSOR VON ZELL.
MELLINGER |
Men, this is Professor Von Zell, Professor Emeritus in German History here at Princeton, and an adviser on this project. Professor Von Zell was actually in Germany in nineteen thirty-three, and he has something important to tell you. |
As the old man takes the lectern a large map of Germany is projected on a wall-sized screen behind him.
VON ZELL
THE TEAM
(like schoolchildren)|
Good morning, Professor Von Zell. |
VON ZELL
He picks up a pointer and points it in the direction of the map.
VON ZELL
(continuing)
A map of Berlin appears.
VON ZELL
(continuing)
Another map, a street map of a small detail of the map of Berlin, appears.
VON ZELL
(continuing)|
And here is the section of Berlin where, in late August of nineteen thirty-three, I lived at Two eighty-three Hungenstrasse, in an upstairs apartment, directly above a small bakery. |
A picture of a pair of green silk pajamas is projected.
VON ZELL
(continuing)|
Men, when I left Germany I forgot one thing, one thing that I've always regretted leaving behind -- besides my mistress -- a pair of green silk pajamas, like the ones shown here. I left them in the bottom drawer of the dresser in my bedroom. Get them for me, men, bring them back with you -- and if you see my mistress you can bring her back, too. |
They laugh.
MADDEN|
No problem. Seriously -- anything else we can pick up for you while we're back there? |
VON ZELL
(continuing)|
Oh, a nice piece of apple strudel from the bakery downstairs would be wonderful, but -- |
MELLINGER
(cutting in)|
Uh, Professor, the men have quite a lot to worry about already. |
MADDEN
(writing it down)
THE FRIDGE
(also writing it down)
INT. LAB - BRICKHOUSE AND SASHIMI
are deep in thought. They say nothing for several long beats, then Dr. Sashimi brightens and looks at Dr. Brickhouse.
SASHIMI |
How about Playboy magazine? |
BRICKHOUSE
(taken aback)|
Doctor, really, you want me to pose for Playboy? Not that it hasn't been suggested before. |
SASHIMI
(embarrassed)|
Oh no, no, Doctor Brickhouse, I meant a copy of Playboy Magazine as something to bring back -- as a convincing item from the future. You know, like the issue with "The Girls of Saudi Arabia" or something. |
BRICKHOUSE|
Oh, I see. Yeah, that's a great idea. I was thinking, maybe, a Colorado Rockies baseball cap. |
SASHIMI|
Not bad. How about an Elvis Presley postage stamp? |
BRICKHOUSE|
Which one? The young Elvis or the old Elvis? |
SASHIMI
BRICKHOUSE
Dr. Mellinger looks in.
MELLINGER
BRICKHOUSE|
What do you think of a Colorado Rockies baseball cap? |
MELLINGER|
Not bad. But -- I have something that should help... |
He reveals a hand-held Nintendo Game Boy.
MELLINGER
(continuing)|
This ought to convince Einstein they're from the future. |
SASHIMI
BRICKHOUSE
Dr. Denton enters.
DENTON
He jumps up and spins about, revealing high-top sneakers with small lights in the heel that light upon impact.
BRICKHOUSE
MELLINGER|
Splendid. Order a pair for Einstein -- size seven-and-a-half double A -- he had a tiny foot. |
INT. TEAM BARRACKS - DOCTOR SASHIMI
is handing out ID cards to everyone.
SASHIMI |
These are your identity cards, gentlemen... |
MADDEN
He hands one to The Fridge.
SASHIMI|
Mr. Perry, you are now and until this mission is completed, Dieter Vollheimer, an out-of-work sausage maker from Essen. |
The Fridge smiles.
THE FRIDGE|
I have a wife, Greta, and three boys, Hans, Fritz, and Dieter, Jr. |
SASHIMI
(impressed)
|
Splendid, Mr. Perry. You're a quick study. |
THE BOZ|
Hey, Fridge, how'd you learn that so fast? |
THE FRIDGE|
Took that memory course. The one on TV, with Danny Bonaduce. |
The Boz nods in recognition as we
SERIES OF SHOTS
A) The team runs through tires while learning German.
B) Madden is drawing on the chalkboard, then steps
away, revealing he's written "E=mc2".
C) The Boz studies his playbook while making himself a high protein drink, pouring powder, raw eggs, and raisins into an oversized beer stein.
D) Csonka reluctantly enters the cockpit of a
centrifuge, which begins to spin at high speed.
E) Bubba and Butkus, in lederhosen, are being taught to dance the polka by a GERMAN COUPLE right out of "The Lawrence Welk Show."
F) The Fridge eats a blueberry pie as he reads "Mein Kampf" -- in German.
G) The centrifuge comes to a stop, Csonka
steps out, dizzy, and exits through a nearby wall.
|