INT. HIGH - TECH LAB - MELLINGER

and the other scientists all nervously look at the clock on the wall which reads "9:15 AM."

MELLINGER
(anxious)

It's less than five minutes now. Where are they?

BRICKHOUSE
They were at the tailor, last I heard.

SASHIMI
(looking O.S.)
Here they are.

MED. SHOT - THE DOOR

opens and the team enters. Each is dressed in period costume -- heavy wool suits. Brown. They're all uncomfortable and fidgety.

BUTKUS

Man, these itch.

MELLINGER
Try not to let it bother you. Well, this is it, men. This is all we worked for. The moment has finally arrived.

Suddenly the unpredictable Doctor Julius comes flying in, arms akimbo.

JULIUS
Don't turn on that lamp, I'm standing in a foot of water! Has anyone seen my ball-point pen? There's my bus. Garšˇn!

He exits.

MELLINGER
(as if nothing happened)
All right, quickly, one last time, let's go over the game plan.

They all step over to a large mock-up of the German forest with a dirt road running through it.

MADDEN
Okay, men, I'll start.

Madden picks up a stick and outlines the maneuver as if it were a football play being drawn in the dirt.

MADDEN
(continuing)
Upon landing we will proceed, on foot, to the dirt road, where we will then split up. Me and Bubba will go to the nearby railroad tracks where a passenger train bound for Berlin from Munich will derail and we will assume the identities of the mortally wounded Luftwaffe Captain and zeppelin pilot Victor Blenheim, and his chauffeur, Zimmer.

MELLINGER
Good. That takes care of the two of you
. (to Csonka and Butkus)
Gentlemen?

BUTKUS
Me and Zonk are visiting professors from the University of Vienna. I'm Professor Gustav Von Schmidt, and Zonk is Professor Rolf Mannheim. We've driven all the way from Austria to attend a lecture by Albert Einstein at the Mueller Lecture Hall at the University of Berlin on August the thirty-first, at eight PM.

MELLINGER
Excellent. Mr. Bosworth?

THE BOZ
I'm headed for the Hall of Victory, about nine kilometers from the University, where I will enter the Mr. Germany contest under the name Earl Muntz. I'm to keep the top Nazi S.S. brass in attendance for as long as possible, delaying them from attending the Einstein lecture at Mueller Hall, after which they plan to arrest him.

MELLINGER
Good, Mr. Bosworth. And it's good to see you really applying yourself.

THE BOZ
Hey, this is for all the marbles, Doc.

MELLINGER
And, finally, Mr. Perry?

THE FRIDGE
I'm to proceed to the University of Berlin and answer this ad...

The Fridge holds out a yellowed, flaking page of an old German newspaper.

THE FRIDGE
(continuing)
... for the position of night watchman and security guard at the main gate.

MELLINGER
Good. And that takes us through the first day. After that, gentlemen, it's by the book.

He nods to the playbooks they all carry at their sides.

MELLINGER
(continuing)
Good luck.

DENTON
Thirty seconds.

SASHIMI
Step into the tube, gentlemen.

WIDE SHOT - THE TIME TUBE

is the size of a subway tunnel, and seems to extend infinitely into the distance. The team steps in, gingerly.
BRICKHOUSE

Good luck, boys, I know you can do it.

DENTON
Fifteen seconds.

SASHIMI
Remember, men, the only thing you have to fear, is fear itself.

DENTON
Ten seconds...

MELLINGER
God speed, America's Team.

BRICKHOUSE
'Bye, boys.

DENTON
Five, four, three, two...

Denton pulls a switch. Everything goes dark and we HEAR a thunderous ROAR as lightning bolts shoot across the room.

MED. SHOT - THE TIME TUBE - THE TEAM

is engulfed in a swirling MIASMA of IMAGES and SOUND reflecting the last sixty-two years -- STILLS and CLIPS from twentieth century history flash before them as they're subjected to one SPECIAL EFFECT after another.

SERIES OF SHOTS

A) Csonka's face morphs into the face of every Vice President going back to John Nance Garner.
B) The Fridge morphs into waif/model Kate Moss.

C) Madden's head expands to three times it's size, then contracts to the size of a lollipop.

D) The scientists view all this with amazement, and horror.

E) The Boz morphs into Barney the Dinosaur.

F) A horribly distorted Bubba looks at his watch.

CLOSE SHOT - BUBBA'S WATCH

resembles the one by Dali, and it's spinning backwards, faster and faster.

MED. SHOT - THE TIME TUBE - THE TEAM

experiences one last blast of mind-blowing effects, and then everything STOPS. Shaken, they look around, and then react to something O.S.

MADDEN
(pointing to O.S.)

Oh no. It can't be.

REVERSE POV - THE SCIENTISTS

are still there, staring back at them, in horror.

MELLINGER

Something went wrong.

SASHIMI
(embarrassed)
My mistake.

CLOSER

revealing Sashimi's been absentmindedly leaning on an important switch.

DENTON

We'll have to do it again.

WIDE - THE TEAM

groans.

CSONKA

Again?

MELLINGER
Don't worry, that wasn't supposed to happen -- I don't know what that was. This time it'll all be over in a flash. All right, quickly, get back in the tube.

DENTON
We only have a tiny window of time remaining, gentlemen.

BRICKHOUSE
Good luck, boys, I know you can do it.

DENTON
I'm throwing the switch.

He throws the switch. This time we HEAR nothing.

THE TIME TUBE - THE TEAM

reacts to the fact that nothing at all is happening, and then, after a beat, they DISAPPEAR.

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