EXT. GERMANY - TRAIN TRACKS - DAY - MADDEN AND BUBBA

lie in wait on a hill above. Bubba pulls out a pair of high-powered binoculars and looks through them.

MADDEN

The train should be along any minute.

BUBBA
I think I see the problem. There's a log across the track.

MADDEN
Gee, Bubba, I feel kinda funny. I mean, here we are, knowing the train's gonna derail, knowing there's gonna be injuries, deaths, it makes you wonder whether we shouldn't try and do something to prevent it from happening. I mean... we're right here.

BUBBA
I know what you mean, Coach. But you have to put it all in context. If we save Captain Blenheim and his driver, Zimmer, then it's possible that Einstein won't get out of Germany, and if Einstein doesn't get out of Germany, then it's possible Germany will be able to accelerate its program to build the atomic bomb, and if Germany gets the atomic bomb before we do, then they'll drop it on London and win the war and we'd all live in a world ruled by sadistic, racist madmen. It would be a living Hell.

MADDEN
(beat)
Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks, Bubba. Sometimes even I need to be reminded of why we're here and what we're fighting for.

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INT. BUTCHER SHOP - BUTKUS AND CSONKA

are looking over the offerings in the butcher's case.

CSONKA

The veal looks good.

BUTKUS
I'm just gonna get a couple of pounds of ground round, Zonk. Don't forget, we have work to do.

A BUTCHER appears.

BUTCHER
Ya?

BUTKUS
Say, I just want a couple of pounds of ground round, okay?

The butcher doesn't understand, so Butkus points to it in the case. The butcher smiles and starts to weigh the meat for them as we
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INT. TROLLEY CAR - THE FRIDGE

makes his way through a packed crowd of BERLINERS.

THE FRIDGE

Guten tag, guten tag...

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EXT. ALLEYWAY - THE BOZ

appears lost as he consults the map in the playbook.

CLOSE SHOT - THE PLAYBOOK MAP

is a dense, detailed map of "Berlin, ca. 1933" and probably inscrutable to the free-spirited Boz.

THE BOZ

scratches his head as we WIDEN to reveal, behind him, covering an entire wall, a poster advertising the "Herr Deutschland" contest, with a large arrow pointing across the street.

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EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - WIDE - MADDEN AND BUBBA

watch from the hill as we HEAR the sound of a train approaching.

TWO SHOT - MADDEN AND BUBBA

keep their gaze fixed on the tracks as the train gets closer, and louder. And then we HEAR the SCREECHING wheels of a train derailing and CRASHING. They wince and hide their eyes as we

DISSOLVE TO:


EXT. TRAIN WRECK - A LITTLE LATER - MADDEN AND BUBBA

are now dressed as a Nazi blimp captain (Madden) and his chauffeur (Bubba). They approach a couple of S.S. OFFICERS and hand them their papers. The officers study the papers assiduously, raising a skeptical eyebrow or two, and then, with lingering suspicion, salute and click their heels. Bubba opens the door of a long Mercedes limousine for Madden, and then takes the wheel as we

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EXT. UNIVERSITY OF BERLIN - AFTERNOON - ESTABLISHING

DISSOLVE TO:


INT. UNIVERSITY EMPLOYMENT OFFICE - THE DOOR

opens and The Fridge pops his head in. A SECRETARY reacts, somewhat surprised to see him.

THE FRIDGE
(in German)

Is this where I apply for the security guard job?

SECRETARY
(in German)
Yes it is. Have you ever been a guard before?

THE FRIDGE
(in German)
Once in a blue moon they let me carry the ball -- but the rest of the time I'm a guard.

SECRETARY
(in German)
Good. By the way, do you speak any English?

THE FRIDGE
(in English)
Yes, I do. A little.

SECRETARY
(in German)
Any French?

THE FRIDGE
Un peu.

SECRETARY
(in German)
Good. We have many on the faculty who speak French and English. That will come in handy. You can start immediately.

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EXT. THEATER - DAY - LONG LINES

of GERMANS, including a large number of NAZIS.

INT. THEATER DRESSING ROOM - THE BOZ

is looking out the window while, all around him, BLONDE ARYAN BODY BUILDERS stretch, oil themselves, and get ready for the contest. He steps back from the window and strips to the waist. The room goes silent. The Boz strikes an intimidating pose.

THE BOZ
(in German)

You're all a bunch of girly men.

The other contestants are totally psyched out.

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EXT. UNIVERSITY OF BERLIN - MAIN GATE KIOSK - THE FRIDGE

is at his new post, wearing the relatively tiny guard's hat. A car pulls up to the kiosk.

THE FRIDGE
(in German)

Names, please.

MED. SHOT - THE DRIVER

of the car speaks for himself and his passenger.

DRIVER
(in German)

I am Professor Gustav Von Schmidt, and my passenger is Professor Rolf Mannheim. We've driven all the way from Vienna to hear Professor Einstein's lecture.

THE FRIDGE
Albert Einstein?

DRIVER
Ya.

The Fridge shakes his head.

DRIVER
(continuing; in German)
Why are you shaking your head?

THE FRIDGE
(in German)
I'm shaking my head because you're at the University of Berlin, and you want Berlin University.

The driver shrugs, disappointed.

DRIVER
(in German)
And where would that be?

The Fridge points them in the wrong direction and they start to turn around as another car pulls up, this one containing Csonka and Butkus. The Fridge waves them through as we

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