EXT. UNIVERSITY BUILDING - NIGHT - CSONKA

is stacking a few boxes on the curb.

CSONKA

Where the hell is The Boz?

A cab goes by.

INT. CAB - THE DRIVER

is none other than the unpredictable and unstable Doctor Julius.

JULIUS

And the little engine said "I think I can, I think I can" -- that was enough for me -- I didn't hire him.

CUT TO:


INT. LECTURE HALL - BUTKUS

is shaping the last of the ground beef into a hamburger patty.

BUTKUS

You know, you're supposed to use newspaper, but...

He puts the patty on the grill and grabs a couple of pages of Einstein's Unified Field Theory -- the one that would have explained how the universe works -- and crumples them.

BUTKUS
(continuing)
... these'll do.

He stuffs the papers into the base of the barbecue and lights them.

BUTKUS
(continuing; to O.S.)
Doctor Heisenberg, how do you like your burgers?

CUT TO:


EXT. INST. FOR ADVANCED STUDY - DAY (1995) - ESTABLISHING

INT. HALLWAY - MELLINGER AND BRICKHOUSE

are walking briskly.

BRICKHOUSE

They've been back there for nearly twelve hours now. I'm getting nervous.

MELLINGER
So am I. Say, isn't Professor Von Zell delivering his paper on Einstein today?

BRICKHOUSE
Right at this moment, I believe.

MELLINGER
Might be a good antidote for a case of nerves. The Professor's always entertaining. And no one knows more about Einstein.

BRICKHOUSE
Okay.

MELLINGER
And we can sit in the back, so if we get bored...

He smiles suggestively; she smiles receptively.

INT. LARGE CLASSROOM - PROFESSOR VON ZELL

is addressing a full classroom of GRADUATE STUDENTS as Mellinger and Brickhouse enter and take seats in the back row.

VON ZELL

And so, while quantum physics was gradually taking hold of the theoretical community's imagination, Einstein continued in his quest for a Unified Field Theory, hoping to integrate his General Principle with the rest of the observable universe...

TWO SHOT - MELLINGER AND BRICKHOUSE

are both listening, but have their minds on more earthly things as he slides his hand across the back of her chair.

VON ZELL (O.S.)
(continuing)

... However, he was thwarted in his quest when, one day, at a symposium at the University of Berlin in nineteen thirty-three, Einstein lost two pages of the original manuscript...

Mellinger leans over and nuzzles Brickhouse's neck.

VON ZELL (O.S.)
(continuing)
... and he was never able to remember the crucial formulae that he had scribbled on them. It remained the one great tragedy of his lifetime, coming so close to a theory that would have unified all other theories...

Mellinger slides his hand under Brickhouse's lab coat.

VON ZELL (O.S.)
(continuing)
... Oh, there were rumors -- that the formulae were flawed; that there never really were any missing pages of notes -- but I'm of the belief, after studying his writings...

Things are starting to get hot and heavy.

MED. SHOT - VON ZELL

continues speaking, but he's clearly aware of the lustful couple in the rear.

VON ZELL
(continuing)

... that Einstein, in his haste to leave Nazi Germany, simply made an honest mistake.

CLOSE SHOT - VON ZELL

stops speaking and just stares O.S. He takes out a handkerchief and wipes his brow.

TWO SHOT - MELLINGER AND BRICKHOUSE

continue their lovemaking and begin to disrobe as we

CUT TO:


EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT - THE LIMO

is moving along swiftly.

INT. LIMO - BUBBA

drives while Madden goes over the map.

MADDEN

We should be almost there.

He puts the map down.

MADDEN
(continuing)
Hey, you know what just occurred to me? It's nineteen thirty-three, right? When we get over to the states we should take in a ball game or two. I think Red Grange is still playing.

BUBBA
Babe Ruth, too.

MADDEN
Yeah. That'd be neat.

They continue driving as we

CUT TO:


EXT. UNIVERSITY OF BERLIN - NIGHT - FRONT GATE - A TAXI

pulls up to the kiosk.

MED. SHOT - KIOSK - THE FRIDGE

steps out and gets in the taxi.

INT. TAXI - THE FRIDGE

gets a look at the driver and reacts.

THE FRIDGE

Hey, I know you.

ANOTHER ANGLE - THE DRIVER

is Doctor Julius, and he starts driving.

JULIUS

We're all out of Pecan Ripple.

THE FRIDGE
You're Doctor Julius.

JULIUS
I am not going to take out the garbage! Polly Bergen want a cracker?

THE FRIDGE
Do you think you could take me to the blimp base at Leipzig?

JULIUS
Leipzig?

THE FRIDGE
Yeah. You know how to get there?

JULIUS
We're all out of Pecan Ripple.

Julius hits the accelerator.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT - THE TAXI

turns abruptly and drives over the curb and a flower bed as we

CUT TO:


EXT. UNIVERSITY - NIGHT - CSONKA

is still waiting, anxiously, for The Boz.

CSONKA

Come on, Boz, come on.

A beat later The Boz pulls up, Eva still in the sidecar.

THE BOZ
Hey, Zonk. I want you to meet my new main squeeze, Eva.
(to Eva)
Eva, this is Larry Csonka, one of the greatest power fullbacks in NFL history.

CSONKA
(embarrassed)
Aw --
(suddenly aware of dilemma)
Hey wait! How are we gonna fit everybody -- me, you, Butkus, Einstein, her -- into that?

THE BOZ
Gee, Zonk, I don't know. What does it say in the playbook?

CSONKA
The playbook? The playbook doesn't say you're gonna bring back a motorcycle to take four -- now five -- people to the blimp base!

The Boz pulls the playbook out from his traveling pack and opens it up.

THE BOZ
Yes it does. Page twelve.
(reacts)
But look -- we end up taking a taxi.

He shows it to Csonka.

INSERT - CLOSE SHOT - A FADED COLOR PHOTOGRAPH

shows them all crowded into a taxi.

CSONKA (O.S.)

Damn -- you're right. But then, where's the taxi?


MED. SHOT - A TAXI

pulls up, The Fridge gets out and opens the door for them.

THE FRIDGE

Hurry, load the trunk -- I'll get Butkus and Einstein.

They all start to do so as we

CUT TO:


INT. LECTURE HALL - BUTKUS

is packing up the barbecue, trying to leave, but Werner Heisenberg and Enrico Fermi won't let him go.

BUTKUS

Thank you, gentlemen, thank you, it's been a pleasure.

HEISENBERG
But how can I get one of these?

BUTKUS
Watch the infomercial on TV.

FERMI
Infomercial?

HEISENBERG
TV?

BUTKUS
I've gotta go. Really.

He rips himself away from them and exits as we

CUT TO:


INT. OFFICE - EINSTEIN

is making notes on the few remaining pages in his office as The Fridge, in a great hurry, enters.

THE FRIDGE

You Einstein?

EINSTEIN
Yes, yes, but could you please wait a few minutes? I think I've figured out a formula for infinity.

Butkus bursts into the office.

BUTKUS
Let's go. Now.

THE FRIDGE
Professor, come on, we're late.

EINSTEIN
Oh, all right.

He throws down his pencil and they grab him and whisk him out the door as we

CUT TO: