Famous First Drafts
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COSTELLO: Hey, Abbott, tell me about this new ball club in town. I hear they're really good. ABBOTT: They are, Costello. COSTELLO: Well, who's on the team? What are their names? ABBOTT: I'll tell you, the players these days, they sure have some funny names, goofy names... COSTELLO: Well, for example, who's on first? ABBOTT: Who. COSTELLO: That's what I want to know. Who's on first? ABBOTT: Who. COSTELLO: Who? ABBOTT: Who. COSTELLO: Who is the first baseman? ABBOTT: That's his name, Who. COSTELLO: Who is his name? ABBOTT: Right. His name is Who. COSTELLO: So, someone named Who is playing first base? ABBOTT: Precisely. COSTELLO: I see. What's the name of the guy on second base? ABBOTT: You're right. What is the name of the guy on second base. COSTELLO: What is his name? ABBOTT: What is his name. His name is What. COSTELLO: And third base? ABBOTT: I don't know. COSTELLO: You don't know his name, or his name is I don't know? ABBOTT: His name is I don't know. COSTELLO: Fascinating. So, in essence, all the players on this team have names that are responses to questions, or are pronouns that can be easily construed as responses to questions. Do you have a pitcher? ABBOTT: Tomorrow. COSTELLO: And a catcher? ABBOTT: Today. COSTELLO: It must be confusing as hell. ABBOTT: You're not kidding. COSTELLO: Well, thanks for telling me their names, Bud. ABBOTT: You're welcome, Lou. COSTELLO: 'Bye.
ABBOTT: 'Bye.
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