Mr. Neuman won his first Nobel Prize (Physics) at the age of five, the second (Phys. Ed.) at age eight. Since then he's bounced around from one odd job to another, never really finding himself. Currently, he holds the record for the most goals ever scored in a Brazilian professional football (soccer) league game, although he denies it.

Spending years riding the rails and sleeping in Greyhound bus stations has taught Neuman the real worth of the Nobel Prize, that's for sure. No one gives a damn about particle theory in a biker bar in Moline, Illinois at three in the morning, unless you happen to run into Nobel Prize Winner Hans Bethe, which Neuman did—at Mike's Mug 'n Grog in Oakland, California. He was able to bum a few bucks from Bethe and catch a Greyhound to San Antonio, where he is presently a security guard at the Alamo National Historical Monument.

Neuman would tell you his real life story, but you wouldn't believe it.

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