EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY - THE LIMO
with Bubba and Madden in it is cruising along, another official-looking car right behind them.
INT. LIMO - BUBBA
drives while glancing over at a map in his playbook.
 BUBBA |
About ten more kilometers, Coach. |
MADDEN
BUBBA
 (thinks)
MADDEN|
Six miles. Hey, that's not too bad. |
EXT. HIGHWAY - THE OTHER CAR
continues to follow them closely.
INT. LIMO - BUBBA
notices the other car in the rear-view mirror.
BUBBA |
Hey, Coach? We got company. |
MADDEN
BUBBA
Madden turns around and looks through the rear window.
MADDEN|
Hoo-eeee! Better lose 'em, Bubba. |
BUBBA
EXT. HIGHWAY - WIDE SHOT - THE CHASE
begins.
INT. THEATER - THE "HERR DEUTSCHLAND" CONTESTANTS
are lined up on stage, wearing thirties-era black bathing suits, and posing for the appreciative audience of mostly male Nazi Party members. The Boz stands out. He's bigger, more muscular, and the only one with a tattoo and earrings.
MED. SHOT - AUDIENCE - SLOW ZOOM
to an appreciative Adolf Hitler and, seated next to him, an attractive blonde, EVA BRAUN.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(in German) |
And now, the five finalists. |
WIDE SHOT - THE CONTESTANTS
anxiously wait to hear their names.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(continuing; in German) |
They are: Herman Bild, Mr. Stuttgart... |
HERMAN BILD steps forward, to mild applause.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(continuing; in German)|
... Heinie Manush, Mr. Munich... |
HEINIE MANUSH steps forward, to mild applause.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(continuing; in German)|
... Wolfgang Clausewitz, Mr. Dresden... |
WOLFGANG CLAUSEWITZ steps forward, to mild applause.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(continuing; in German)|
... Ludwig Zeiss, Mr. Dusseldorf... |
LUDWIG ZEISS steps forward, to mild applause.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(continuing; in German)|
... and Earl Muntz, Mr. -- |
(hesitates)
The Boz steps forward, and the place goes nuts.
MED. SHOT - HITLER AND EVA BRAUN
are applauding wildly.
INT. OFFICE - EINSTEIN
is reading, and making notes. His office resembles a messy research library, awash in books and papers.
INT. HALLWAY - BUTKUS AND CSONKA
are trying to be inconspicuous, while searching for Einstein's office.
BUTKUS
CSONKA
(looks at watch)|
We've got five minutes until his lecture starts. |
BUTKUS|
One-oh-three, one-oh-three, where is it? |
CSONKA
They go over to a door with "103" on it.
BUTKUS
CSONKA
BUTKUS
CSONKA
BUTKUS
(girds himself)
He opens the door and they do an Alphonse and Gaston, neither going in. Then they try to walk in at the same time and wedge themselves in the doorway.
INT. OFFICE - EINSTEIN
looks up and is, naturally, surprised.
EINSTEIN
BUTKUS
EINSTEIN
The boys free themselves and enter.
BUTKUS|
Uh, well, I'm Dick Butkus, and this is Larry Csonka, and we're a couple of ex-football players from the future, you see, and we're here to get you out of Germany before the Nazis put you under house arrest tonight, after your lecture. |
EINSTEIN
(beat)|
You say you're from the future? But how can you prove it? |
Csonka pulls out some rocks.
EINSTEIN
(continuing)
CSONKA|
Moon rocks. Rocks that men, astronauts, will bring back from the Moon in nineteen sixty-nine. |
EINSTEIN|
But, those could be any rocks. |
CSONKA
Csonka reveals a small camera.
CSONKA
(continuing)|
What about this? A disposable camera. Bet you never saw one of these before. |
EINSTEIN|
A disposable camera? You mean you throw it away? What a stupid idea. |
Butkus reveals the sneakers with the light in the heels.
BUTKUS|
Here. When you take a step, they light up in the back. |
EINSTEIN|
If they light up in back, then how would you know it? |
CSONKA
(beat)|
You could look in a mirror. |
Einstein shrugs, conceding the point.
EINSTEIN
(continuing)|
Look, gentlemen, it really doesn't matter if you're from the future, or the past, or Interpol, or Scotland Yard, or the FBI -- for some reason I trust you. Just get me out of here. |
BUTKUS|
That's just what we intend to do, Mr. Einstein. But we need your cooperation. You see, here's the plan... |
As Butkus starts to brief the great genius, we
EXT. HIGHWAY - BUBBA
has led his Nazi pursuers onto a rotary, where several roads meet and where other cars have gotten caught up in the circular chase that, at one point has Bubba following the Nazis. After several loops the boys exit -- with the Nazis still going around in circles as we
INT. THEATER - THE FIVE FINALISTS
in the "Herr Deutschland" contest are going through their final motions. The Boz, though, is getting all the cheers.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(in German) |
And now, the fourth runner up... Wolfgang Clausewitz, Mr. Dresden. |
Wolfgang Clausewitz is met by BOOS from the audience as he's halfheartedly congratulated by the others, including The Boz.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(continuing; in German)|
The third runner up... Herman Bild, Mr. Stuttgart. |
Herman Bild is booed even more, and hit in the face with a piece of fruit.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(continuing; in German)
By now the crowd has gotten so unruly -- and obviously impatient to see The Boz -- that the emcee is drowned out and the other contestants are chased off the stage.
EMCEE'S VOICE (V.O.)
(continuing; shouting, in German)
|
All right all right, the winner is -- Earl Muntz, Mr. Milwaukee! |
The audience goes nuts, especially Hitler and Eva.
INT. THEATER - A LITTLE LATER - THE BOZ
accepts the "Herr Deutschland" sash from a fawning Hitler.
MED. SHOT - THE BOZ AND HITLER
shake hands while The Boz eyes an adoring Eva Braun, sitting in the first row.
CLOSE SHOT - THE HANDSHAKE
resembles a vise closing on a rubber hand as we HEAR the CRUNCHING sound of Hitler's hand being crushed.
CLOSE SHOT - HITLER
is in extreme pain but refuses to show it, channeling it all into his mustache, which curls up.
MED. SHOT - EVA
is obviously taken with The Boz as we
EXT. HIGHWAY - BUBBA AND MADDEN
are seemingly in the clear, having lost their Nazi pursuers, for now.
INT. LIMO - MADDEN
is looking back through the rear window.
MADDEN |
Nice work, Bubba. Ever thought about Gran Prix racing? |
BUBBA|
Yes I have, Coach. Quite a bit. |
MADDEN|
Say, Bubba, is that your real name -- Bubba? |
BUBBA|
No. Bubba's a nickname. My real name's Ralston. Ralston Henry Harrison Smith the Third. |
MADDEN
BUBBA|
Grew up in Greenwich, Connecticut. My dad knew George Bush's dad. Went to the same prep school Bush's kids went to. I'm old money, Coach. |
MADDEN
We HEAR the sound of a TIRE BLOWING out.
BUBBA|
I hope that's not what I think it is. |
MADDEN|
Damn, we can't afford a flat tire -- not now. |
EXT. HIGHWAY - WIDE SHOT - THE LIMO
pulls off the highway as we
|