EXT. UNIVERSITY BUILDING - NIGHT - CSONKA
is stacking a few boxes on the curb.
 CSONKA |
Where the hell is The Boz? |
A cab goes by.
INT. CAB - THE DRIVER
is none other than the unpredictable and unstable Doctor Julius.
JULIUS |
And the little engine said "I think I can, I think I can" -- that was enough for me -- I didn't hire him. |
INT. LECTURE HALL - BUTKUS
is shaping the last of the ground beef into a hamburger patty.
BUTKUS |
You know, you're supposed to use newspaper, but... |
He puts the patty on the grill and grabs a couple of pages of Einstein's Unified Field Theory -- the one that would have explained how the universe works -- and crumples them.
BUTKUS
 (continuing)
He stuffs the papers into the base of the barbecue and lights them.
BUTKUS
(continuing; to O.S.)|
Doctor Heisenberg, how do you like your burgers? |
EXT. INST. FOR ADVANCED STUDY - DAY (1995) - ESTABLISHING
INT. HALLWAY - MELLINGER AND BRICKHOUSE
are walking briskly.
BRICKHOUSE |
They've been back there for nearly twelve hours now. I'm getting nervous. |
MELLINGER|
So am I. Say, isn't Professor Von Zell delivering his paper on Einstein today? |
BRICKHOUSE|
Right at this moment, I believe. |
MELLINGER|
Might be a good antidote for a case of nerves. The Professor's always entertaining. And no one knows more about Einstein. |
BRICKHOUSE
MELLINGER|
And we can sit in the back, so if we get bored... |
He smiles suggestively; she smiles receptively.
INT. LARGE CLASSROOM - PROFESSOR VON ZELL
is addressing a full classroom of GRADUATE STUDENTS as Mellinger and Brickhouse enter and take seats in the back row.
VON ZELL |
And so, while quantum physics was gradually taking hold of the theoretical community's imagination, Einstein continued in his quest for a Unified Field Theory, hoping to integrate his General Principle with the rest of the observable universe... |
TWO SHOT - MELLINGER AND BRICKHOUSE
are both listening, but have their minds on more earthly things as he slides his hand across the back of her chair.
VON ZELL (O.S.)
(continuing) |
... However, he was thwarted in his quest when, one day, at a symposium at the University of Berlin in nineteen thirty-three, Einstein lost two pages of the original manuscript... |
Mellinger leans over and nuzzles Brickhouse's neck.
VON ZELL (O.S.)
(continuing)|
... and he was never able to remember the crucial formulae that he had scribbled on them. It remained the one great tragedy of his lifetime, coming so close to a theory that would have unified all other theories... |
Mellinger slides his hand under Brickhouse's lab coat.
VON ZELL (O.S.)
(continuing)|
... Oh, there were rumors -- that the formulae were flawed; that there never really were any missing pages of notes -- but I'm of the belief, after studying his writings... |
Things are starting to get hot and heavy.
MED. SHOT - VON ZELL
continues speaking, but he's clearly aware of the lustful couple in the rear.
VON ZELL
(continuing) |
... that Einstein, in his haste to leave Nazi Germany, simply made an honest mistake. |
CLOSE SHOT - VON ZELL
stops speaking and just stares O.S. He takes out a handkerchief and wipes his brow.
TWO SHOT - MELLINGER AND BRICKHOUSE
continue their lovemaking and begin to disrobe as we
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT - THE LIMO
is moving along swiftly.
INT. LIMO - BUBBA
drives while Madden goes over the map.
MADDEN |
We should be almost there. |
He puts the map down.
MADDEN
(continuing)|
Hey, you know what just occurred to me? It's nineteen thirty-three, right? When we get over to the states we should take in a ball game or two. I think Red Grange is still playing. |
BUBBA
MADDEN
They continue driving as we
EXT. UNIVERSITY OF BERLIN - NIGHT - FRONT GATE - A TAXI
pulls up to the kiosk.
MED. SHOT - KIOSK - THE FRIDGE
steps out and gets in the taxi.
INT. TAXI - THE FRIDGE
gets a look at the driver and reacts.
THE FRIDGE
ANOTHER ANGLE - THE DRIVER
is Doctor Julius, and he starts driving.
JULIUS |
We're all out of Pecan Ripple. |
THE FRIDGE
JULIUS|
I am not going to take out the garbage! Polly Bergen want a cracker? |
THE FRIDGE|
Do you think you could take me to the blimp base at Leipzig? |
JULIUS
THE FRIDGE|
Yeah. You know how to get there? |
JULIUS|
We're all out of Pecan Ripple. |
Julius hits the accelerator.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT - THE TAXI
turns abruptly and drives over the curb and a flower bed as we
EXT. UNIVERSITY - NIGHT - CSONKA
is still waiting, anxiously, for The Boz.
CSONKA
A beat later The Boz pulls up, Eva still in the sidecar.
THE BOZ|
Hey, Zonk. I want you to meet my new main squeeze, Eva. |
(to Eva)|
Eva, this is Larry Csonka, one of the greatest power fullbacks in NFL history. |
CSONKA
(embarrassed)
(suddenly aware of dilemma)|
Hey wait! How are we gonna fit everybody -- me, you, Butkus, Einstein, her -- into that? |
THE BOZ|
Gee, Zonk, I don't know. What does it say in the playbook? |
CSONKA|
The playbook? The playbook doesn't say you're gonna bring back a motorcycle to take four -- now five -- people to the blimp base! |
The Boz pulls the playbook out from his traveling pack and opens it up.
THE BOZ|
Yes it does. Page twelve. |
(reacts)|
But look -- we end up taking a taxi. |
He shows it to Csonka.
INSERT - CLOSE SHOT - A FADED COLOR PHOTOGRAPH
shows them all crowded into a taxi.
CSONKA (O.S.) |
Damn -- you're right. But then, where's the taxi? |
MED. SHOT - A TAXI
pulls up, The Fridge gets out and opens the door for them.
THE FRIDGE |
Hurry, load the trunk -- I'll get Butkus and Einstein. |
They all start to do so as we
INT. LECTURE HALL - BUTKUS
is packing up the barbecue, trying to leave, but Werner Heisenberg and Enrico Fermi won't let him go.
BUTKUS |
Thank you, gentlemen, thank you, it's been a pleasure. |
HEISENBERG|
But how can I get one of these? |
BUTKUS|
Watch the infomercial on TV. |
FERMI
HEISENBERG
BUTKUS
He rips himself away from them and exits as we
INT. OFFICE - EINSTEIN
is making notes on the few remaining pages in his office as The Fridge, in a great hurry, enters.
THE FRIDGE
EINSTEIN|
Yes, yes, but could you please wait a few minutes? I think I've figured out a formula for infinity. |
Butkus bursts into the office.
BUTKUS
THE FRIDGE|
Professor, come on, we're late. |
EINSTEIN
He throws down his pencil and they grab him and whisk him out the door as we
|