EXT. GERMAN SKY - NIGHT - THE BLIMP

is sailing across the night sky.

INT. BLIMP GONDOLA - CLOSE SHOT - MADDEN

is seated on the floor of the gondola, white as a sheet.

WIDEN

to reveal Einstein leaning over him.

EINSTEIN

You're missing a beautiful view.

MADDEN
I can't. I can't look down. I'm fine as long as I don't look down.

THE FRIDGE
Uh-oh. Guess who.

WIDE SHOT - THE TWO BLIMPS

are about fifty yards from each other as we HEAR DRAMATIC CHASE MUSIC begin to build in the b.g.

INT. GONDOLA - THE TEAM

reacts.

BUTKUS

Hey, we can't let those guys catch us.

BUBBA
We've got to think of something.

WIDE SHOT - THE NAZI BLIMP

is getting imperceptibly closer in the SLOWEST CHASE EVER as DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS.

INT. GONDOLA - THE FRIDGE

is looking back at the Nazis through binoculars.

THE FRIDGE

They're closing in.

MADDEN
(not looking)
We've got to pick up speed somehow. I knew we should have taken the bus.

EINSTEIN
I have an idea. We need to reduce ballast, correct? If we are lighter, we will travel faster. Isaac Newton, I think.

No one argues with him.

EINSTEIN
(continuing; beat)
Well then, if we throw out some of the ballast we'll go faster.

They all shrug and begin to throw things out of the gondola.

WIDE SHOT - ALL KINDS OF THINGS

are being flung from the blimp as their lead begins to, very slowly of course, widen.

INT. BLIMP GONDOLA - THE TEAM

and Einstein are down to their underwear, but exultant.

THE FRIDGE

We're moving away from them!

THE BOZ
(mockingly)
Bye-bye, S. S.

MADDEN
Einstein -- you're a genius!

EXT. NAZI BLIMP - THE NAZIS

are not happy. They start to unload their clothes, some with men still in them, but it's too late as we

DISSOLVE TO:


EXT. SKY - DAWN - THE BLIMP

is floating silently, and alone, above the lovely rolling countryside of rural France.

INT. BLIMP GONDOLA - THE TEAM

and Einstein are just waking up.

CSONKA

Where are we?

MADDEN
According to the playbook, we should be in France.

They look at the beautiful scenery below. The Fridge pulls out the binoculars and looks down.

THE FRIDGE
It's France all right.

The Boz grabs the binoculars for a look himself.

THE BOZ
Hooo-eeeeee!

They all want a look.

LOW ANGLE - FIELD - A COUPLE

is making love below.

INT. BLIMP GONDOLA - THE TEAM

is reacting appropriately.

BUTKUS

Hey, Einstein, stop hogging the binocs!

EINSTEIN
You already had a turn.

As they wrestle for the binoculars we

DISSOLVE TO:


EXT. PARISIAN SKY - DAY - THE BLIMP

is floating directly above the City of Light.

INT. BLIMP GONDOLA - MADDEN

addresses the team from his post on the floor of the gondola, his eyes covered.

MADDEN

Men, according to the playbook we're right on schedule. And, as you may have noticed, each playbook has in it a sealed envelope, only to be opened when we reach Paris. Well, we reached Paris as far as I can tell, and so it's time to open the envelopes.

They remove the envelopes from their playbooks and open them. Each contains a piece of paper with some writing on it.

MADDEN
(continuing)
Hey, it's just a piece of paper.

They hold the six pieces of paper out and study them for a beat. Even Einstein is stumped. And then Butkus sees something.

BUTKUS
Hey wait -- it's a message. Here.

He rearranges the pieces until they form the words "The Eagle has landed."

EINSTEIN
"The eagle has landed." What does that mean?

MADDEN
Wait, there's more. My envelope has an explanation.
(reading)
"Upon arriving in Paris, leave note, fully assembled, in the city's central library at 16 Rue de la Bibliotheque, at page 43, in the book --
(in French)
'Comment Etre Courtois a Touristes' --
(in English)
a book that will not be borrowed for the next sixty-two years.

BUBBA
That way they'll know we all made it.

MADDEN
It also says we must be very careful not to disturb the people of Paris or the fabric of life here, and to be as inconspicuous as possible.

Just then we HEAR a LOUD POP.

WIDE SHOT - THE BLIMP

has run into the point of the Eiffel Tower and begins to deflate.

MED. SHOT - TREES

near the base of the Eiffel tower. After a beat or two the entire gondola drops into view, gently lowering itself to the sidewalk. The team and Einstein, still in their underwear, try to be inconspicuous and casually stroll off while DOZENS of PARISIAN PEDESTRIANS gawk at this unlikely troupe of aerial daredevils.

BUBBA

So this is Paris.

CSONKA
Hey Coach, we better get some clothes.

EINSTEIN
Who's got money?

MADDEN
What do you need?

EINSTEIN
Enough for a phone call.

MADDEN
Who are you gonna call?

EINSTEIN
I know where we can get some clothes.

MADDEN
You do? Great. Except, we threw all the money off the blimp. Remember? That was your idea.

EINSTEIN
The Sorbonne is nearby. I'll find someone who recognizes me, don't worry.

Einstein rushes off as the team, somewhat uncomfortably, sits down on benches.

THE FRIDGE
Beautiful city.

MADDEN
I'll say. I hear the food's good, too.

CSONKA
(to Madden)
String cheese?

He holds out a stick of cheese to Madden.

MADDEN
Thanks.

Madden takes it and starts eating.

MADDEN
(continuing; eating)
Hey, where'd you get this?

CSONKA
Where'd I get it?

MADDEN
Yeah. I thought we threw everything off the blimp.

CSONKA
I hid it. In my sock.

Madden's enjoyment of the cheese suddenly disappears as Einstein returns.

EINSTEIN
She'll be right over.

MADDEN
Who'll be right over?

EINSTEIN
Madame Curie. She lives near here. You've heard of her, haven't you?

MADDEN
Yeah.

BUBBA
Sure.

CSONKA
Of course.

EINSTEIN
Well, she's bringing over some clothes for us to wear. I was lucky to catch her in, let me tell you, she's still very active.

TWO SHOT - THE BOZ AND BUTKUS

THE BOZ
(aside, to Butkus)

This Einstein's something, isn't he?

BUTKUS
Yeah, he's one smart guy.

MED. SHOT - MADAME CURIE

appears. She's in her mid-sixties and is carrying a large pile of old clothes.

MADAME CURIE

Could someone please help me with these?

The boys leap to her aid and take the clothes from her.

EINSTEIN
Men, this is Madame Curie.
(aside, to Curie)
Marie, you're a lifesaver. I owe you one.

MADAME CURIE
I was surprised I still had some of my late husband Pierre's clothes in the closet. He's been dead nearly thirty years. I hope they fit.

MADDEN
Let's go, men. Remember, we must be inconspicuous.

They step inside a nearby subway entrance as we

LAP DISSOLVE TO:


A LITTLE LATER - THE TEAM

emerges from the subway. Only Einstein's suit is even close to the correct size.

MADAME CURIE

Oh dear.

MADDEN
Hey, we'll make do, Madame Curie, and thanks. Men?

The others chime in their thanks.

MADDEN
(continuing)
Besides, we won't be in town all that much longer.

MADAME CURIE
Well, good luck, and take care of my dear friend Albert.

They bid her farewell and she exits.

MADDEN
Boys, according to the plan, we're supposed to leave this message at the library -- Fridge? How's your French?

THE FRIDGE
(in French)
You don't have to worry, Coach, I learned to speak French with the free time I had on the blimp.

MADDEN
I'm impressed. We're supposed to meet back at the Cafe Blanc, on the Left Bank, in one hour. You up to it?

THE FRIDGE
(in English)
See you then. Anything else we should tell them besides, "The Eagle has landed?"

THE BOZ
Yeah. Send money.

They all laugh as The Fridge exits and we

CUT TO:


EXT. PARIS - A LITTLE LATER - MADDEN AND EINSTEIN

are enjoying pastries and conversation at an outdoor cafe on the Left Bank.

MADDEN

So, when you say space is a curve, what do you mean? That it curves, like a baseball?

EINSTEIN
Yes, sort of, but tell me -- just how are we going to pay for all of this food?

WIDEN

to reveal The Boz, Csonka, Bubba, and Butkus at the next table, devouring half of Paris.

CUT TO: